He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
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You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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