Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
