Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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