Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
