Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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