last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I deserve this hangover.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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