Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
