I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
