Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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