I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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