i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
