I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
