I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
