So drunk its hurt
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
