I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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