they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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