You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
