When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
