GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do herpes really smell.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
