Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
