my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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