i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
