She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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