i jhust puked up my retainher.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
