Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
