i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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