Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
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I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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