He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
