You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome