wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes