There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
