Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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