He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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