I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
