I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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