You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
