Define "chronic" masturbator.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
