He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
