i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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