If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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