wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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