My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
