I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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