Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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