I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
