I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ladies don't puke and tell
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
