Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
