week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
