How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
