Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
