in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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