So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
