its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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