i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
