JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Oh god it's open bar.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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