btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
