I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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