you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize