and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your cock deserves a montage
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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