Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
