Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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